Thursday, March 9, 2017


I resigned from Haute VolĂ©e this week. You can read all about it on Oiselle's blog, because honestly it was hard enough to write about once. 

So what's next? SacTown 10 Mile is what! And although it would be hard to top the last time I raced in Sacramento, I'm so excited to return to this city to race. I'm starting to feel the pieces of my training come together, and my fitness make that turn. My goal is to race my guts out, and chase that top 5.

After SacTown, I'll be staying local. There are so many great races in the PNW, I know it will tons of fun! Sound to Narrows is a must especially now that I can warm up to the starting line. And I'm sure I'll fill in a few other dates. Open to suggestions if you have a favorite!


Ever had a week where everything is just a liiiiiittle bit off? I am not wishing for one big catastrophe, but I almost feel like I have a harder time dealing with small paper cuts all day than if I just lobbed off half my finger all at once.

Take yesterday, I had a doctor’s appointment in Seattle at 7:30am. That alone (for whatever reason) set a domino row of logistics off for me. I needed to 10 x 400s in, and talk to a client at 5:15am (time zone problems), and figure out how to work for a few hours along with all the other small life tasks like feeding the two humans that live with me and taking care of the 2 year old.

Heather offered to watch the 2 year old in the waiting room. I decided we’d drive Owen in to the office. And I booked a babysitter from 10am – noon for the workout. Solid, right?

But here’s what really happened.

5:15AM – 6:15AM phone call
6:15AM throw (half asleep) PJ and all of our bags (food, clothes etc) in the car.
6:45AM get in annoying hissing marital fight about why I would prefer to use Google Maps over Waze to avoid traffic.
7:20AM park at Pacific Place … realize I forgot to pack PJ’s shoes.
7:25AM meet Heather (2 year old in footie jammies in tow) realize I forgot to change PJ’s diaper. Hope that 12 hour diapers really mean 16.
7:30AM go to doctor (hear about how my heart thing is no laughing matter, yada, yada)
8:30AM breakfast.

9:30AM text the babysitter a whole bunch about the shoes we forgot.
10AM get ready for babysitter to meet us at Heather’s.
10:30AM start to worry I effed something up while PJ tries to get into EVERYTHING in Heather’s house (sorry Heather).
11AM no word, scroll up in texts, realize I booked her for Thursday
…. internal swearing, call Trax to laugh/cry about what a dumbass I am
11:07AM throw (a very crabby) PJ in the car to go find consignment store shoes, listen to Elmo’s Song for the 7th time that day.
NOON: get PJ dressed for the day (finally) and head downtown to get lunch with Owen.
1PM: get enormous coffee, and drive back to Tacoma while listening to classical Christmas music (toddler-screamed request).

2PM: circle 5 mile drive while PJ naps.
3PM: go to the zoo in the rain. Try to get PJ to stay in the tropical fish section as long as possible.
5PM: run to store for frozen pizza, because I realized I did nothing about feeding the humans.
5:55PM: Owen gets home via bus/uber… to a sad pizza for dinner #wifewin
5:56PM: head out to run 8 soggy miles alone in the dark. At .25 I say just do 6. I end up with 7.75 and head in to give PJ a kiss before she goes to bed.
7PM: Shower and go “into the office”

Even typing it, it’s not that bad! But I feel like everyday this week has just been one beat off rhythm. One pair of shoes, one day, one mile off. Maybe I just need a nap? Or another 3 cups of coffee.

Monday, January 16, 2017


The other night, day 3,076 of flu in my house, I was flicking through Instagram (apparently trying to keep my insomnia kick going). Green smoothie. Sweaty miles. Core work. Champagne. European cafe. More core work. I felt deflated and an ugly shade of green. Personally, I hadn't washed my hair in five days, and my main activity had been offering my two year old a list of drinks while she said no, no, no in the most heartbreaking monotone. I couldn't sleep, even once she was back in her own bed, because of my over-active anxiety about her breathing. Every sound in the house a signal for me to go check on her. Since December 26th my family has had the flu. It's January 16 and I think we're finally on the other side.

My December of getting strong and balanced wrapped and it was time to start building back. Motivation hasn't been hard to find, but momentum has felt impossible. Every time I stack even two days together they get knocked over. My base building is looking a lot like PJ playing with her giant Legos. 

One selfish positive (knocking on ALL THE WOOD) is that I didn't get it. Not round 1, 2, 3 or 4. It's me and my Lysol against the world. My stomach took a detour one night and I couldn't sleep because of the cramping, but the morning came and it got better. Just a couple days of not being able to eat much more than plain toast. I knocked two days off the schedule but did run 2 miles for sanity one of the nights after bedtime, feeling like a weak little kitten. 

The last week I wrote in my Compete Journal was 12/26. Intention? "Don't get the flu! Run to feel energized, not depleted." Unwritten, don't completely give up even when it's not going well. Luckily I've done work on that life lesson during marathons and marathon training. It came in handy. Finally being able to look at the last three weeks, I only knocked one easy day and one workout off the schedule while full-time momming, nursing, cleaning, client working...and I'm calling that a big win. And an essential win, since running definitely was my lifeline after a long day. It was energizing, not depleting.

A fresh start isn't essential for progress, a messy start does count. Still you know I'll be celebrating the Lunar New Year, Lysol in hand. Happy New Year round two!

Friday, January 6, 2017

Bittersweet '16

Never has a year held so much dichotomy for me. So many high highs and low lows brushing shoulders. Within a week of racing the Olympic trials I was unemployed. The day after my 33rd birthday we left the city I’ve lived in for a decade. The day I planned to announce I’d be racing NYCM I passed out while driving, and spent the night hooked up to heart monitors and machines in the Yakima ER. My biggest week in the training build up never happened because of a level one Hamstring Strain in the first stride of my big workout.

Marathon Bookends: February and November
 There was a lot of joy, sadness, anger, and growing up. I studied grit. I explored what it meant to hinge, rather than break or stubbornly never change course. I learned the hard way how to know when to quit and when to fight. That sometimes working hard and doing my best won't produce the outcome I want it to, and how to be okay with that. That imposter syndrome is very real, and how to hold my head high anyway.

Personally there were shifts to navigate, from new career moves, to new cities, to new race entry statuses. Globally there was sadness and hate swirling; tragedies that knocked the wind out of me and made me question everything. And I didn’t always deal with grace, or poise, or maturity. I leaned on escapism more often than I am proud to say, whether in miles or glasses of wine. Related: I am still learning to deal with stress in a productive and healthy way, but huge thanks to Jasyoga for being part of my emergency plan. 

Exhibitionist interior designer
Self-conscious side bar: I realize, even in the moment of any one of these highs or lows, how surface they are. If I'm on a rollercoaster, it’s still the kiddie one.
I feel like parts of me were broken down this last year, and are starting to be rebuilt in new configurations. And I'm grateful for the ways the universe found to build me back up. Like the life affirming weekend with Oiselle teammates at NE Bird Camp. The new moon ceremony in Zillah with my little sister. David Monti granting me the chance to race NYC. Neely Spence Gracey sitting next to me (the misfit) on the NYCM bus and hearing her talk about her gratitude and love for the sport. Exploring creative writing outlets with Freeplay Magazine, Meter Magazine, and ghost-writing client blogs. Getting to chat with my podcast fave, Nicole Antoinnette. Watching my husband commute 3-4 hours a day and still come home so excited to see us. Seeing my parents and in-laws so in love with PJ (and all the people that surrounded her in love this year). All of the help I get from my in-laws in this new town so that I can work and train. Bottomline, there's a lot of good.

New Moon
I’m excited to stay the course and keep growing, to stay curious, and keep listening. Life is bittersweet, but it’s also very sweet. 

Change the perspective, stay agile, keep growing

And because this is a running blog (per say) not a navel gazing blog… I do have running goals too! I’m excited to finish out my contract year with Oiselle and focus on some shorter (hopefully) faster distances!

Schedule written in very light #2 pencil:
March – St Patty’s Day Dash Seattle
April – SacTown 10M?, Tenacious 10 10K
May – Bloomsday 12K, Beat the Bridge 8k
June – ?
July – Napa to Sonoma Half Marathon

Thursday, December 15, 2016


Halfway(ish) through the self motivated #hitresetstreak! Full disclosure: I missed two days. I made up one session the next day but not the other one. Keeping it real! Over all I'm really loving the streak and am looking at the next two weeks to set the tone for 2017!

A handful of random observations:
  1. I am obsessed with 5-Minute Neck Reset. Surprise side affect? Mood lifter! When I'm really stressed and feel my shoulders creeping up, up, up to my ears. I pause and hit that 5-Minute Neck Reset. Immediately I stop feeling like a ticking time bomb and more like a rational human able to breathe deeply and think more clearly. I can do this routine (?) by heart now and do it all the time. 
  2. Checking off my reset for day often sets a positive, motivated tone for the rest of my day. Those first few days it really pulled me out of my rut of feeling overwhelmed by how out of shape I'd gotten and how beat up I felt and motivated me to keep making other small steps to climb out of the hole. 
  3.  I'm reminded to simmer down, be patient and gentle with myself and to respect the journey I'm on. There is no overnight fix, and maybe it's not about fixing at all!   
  4. I am really, really bad at yoga selfies. Hope you enjoy that picture of my TV. Which... BTW Chromecast or AppleTV FTW. Love doing Jasyoga on the big(ger) screen ( perched on that IKEA stand I really want to burn in the backyard).
  5. Six new videos just landed including a Couch Reset! Yes. Yes.
Okay 16 more days to go! My goal for the second half is to get in more 15 minute + videos — at least 3 a week. Let's do this! 

Friday, December 9, 2016


Last night Owen stayed in Seattle to go to a Snoop Dogg + Bone Thugs-n-Harmony concert with friends. True statement. That happened.

I was excited to have a night to myself. Plan? A longer Jasyoga video. Podcasts and sugar cookie making. Also to work on an article that was due in 48 hours. Basically nerd stuff.

Thursday and Friday I have no childcare. I scheduled it as my rest day, I’m not pushing a stroller in the snow, and settled in to enjoy a special day with my two-year-old. What’s special? Returning stuff at the mall, frozen pizza dinner, ya know the stuff memories are made of. To redeem myself we also played in the snow, went on a Christmas light walk, and had a kitchen dance party. I also got to enjoy a full day of disagreeing on (nearly) every single moment. Yes, you have to wear shoes. No, you can't jump on the couch. And so on. 

Happier times
Flash forward to 9pm. In the 7th circle of hell. There are cookies burning. There is a Running on Om podcast being paused and restarted. There is a child screaming her head off every time I leave her room.


Because the snow is trying to come inside.
Her imaginary dog bit her and she needs a band-aide
She has boogers
Her sheet is wet
She doesn’t want her baby
She needs a baby sister from the store right NOW
She needs to eat a cookie
A glass of milk
She needs to have a popsicle in “mama’s crib”

She needs mama to have a popsicle to feel better
She needs dada to kiss her
Her tiny tree is too far
Too close
Too bright
Her farts hurt

Anyway, this is why I missed a day of my #hitresetstreak. Unless crying in the fetal position next to her crib counts as child’s pose.

And yes she was up at 4:15 AM.