Wednesday, April 23, 2014

weeks 21 and 22

Last blog was a bit of a gut punch to write. After making something so personal public, I thought long and hard about why I blog. And the most encompassing explanation I landed on is that I believe there is a community here, one that is built on a common experience, in this case running… or pregnancy… or ___. And at the best of times, it's also a strong support system with positive energy.

The world has expanded with the internet, now I can feel like I know someone I've never actually met living half a world away. And I'm connected to them by the universal experiences we share. This can be overwhelming on a bad day, but most of the time I find it to be very positive.

To clarify on my last blog, I'm anxious about my baby being healthy. I've been handed something I have no control over (and in reality will most likely not pose a huge issue for my baby). But when I'm faced with something I can't control, I flail around for things I can control (enter deodorant/shampoo).

I had a great conversation with my doctor the afternoon after I posted. I explained I thrive on information, the more the better. And she explained that if she was concerned I would know about it. The cord is just slightly off center, but it's strong and healthy. My baby is growing and is actually measuring big for her 'age'. Her only warning was, do what you can to avoid adding any other complications. We got on the same page as doctor/patient for the first time. She also added that unless I'm drinking my shampoo to try not to worry so much.

So I stopped drinking my shampoo.

Seriously, I got my head on as straight as I could and moved on. The last couple weeks have flown by.

Other than finally cracking about the 20 week news. Other things did happen. Like...
  • I bought my first maternity jeans, with the full belly panel. Sexy and I know it. 
  • Replaced all my shampoo, conditioner, deoderant, and lotions. Now I smell like BO. 
  • Splurged on tiny dresses and bloomers for the mini, my first purchases for her.
  • Apparently I just could have summed this up with three words: "I stress shopped".

one little shelf so far

monday: 2.1 run
tuesday: x
wednesday: x
thursday: 3.4 run
friday: x
saturday: 5 run
sunday: x

Can't remember what I did on the 'x' days. Gotta get a little better on tracking. 

getting some miles in

This week falls under 'extreme nesting'. Spent the entire weekend painting, cleaning, working in the yard. Actually made Pinterest boards. One for baby room inspiration and another to try to remember things I need to get before she arrives. 
getting it together, one step at a time

monday: 3.7 run
tuesday: x
wednesday: 3.1 run + yoga
thursday: 2.5 run
friday: x
saturday: 3.5 run
sunday: x

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

feelings of bliss and inadequacy

There's nothing like sitting down with your oatmeal, laptop and shampoo bottles and Googling 'what ingredients aren't safe during pregnancy, shampoo" to start your day in a plunging downward spiral of complete inadequacy. Again. 

In the first trimester I kicked myself off Google and sort of adopted this 'I'll do my very best' attitude. When in doubt I'd ask, a real live human woman when I could, or Google. But I didn't rip through my life going 'organic goddess' crazy. And, now of course, I wish I had. Because of one blog post I tripped on yesterday about favorite products during pregnancy. 

It went along as if, duh, normal shampoo is out of the question right now. Wha, what? Sure enough, Bumble and Bumble is doing me in a bad way. And that nail polish remover, for shame. I mean don't get me wrong, I got pregnancy face wash and natural lotion. I thought Dr. Bronner's was good. Turns out, again, nope. 

I did my very best. But like I continually find, that's just not good enough. 

"I can sleep at night because I make my own toothpaste and never eat sugar." 
Of course this 'crazy' stems from somewhere a little more complicated than one woman's blog about her favorite jar deodorant made only of natural oils and smugness. I am one of those women who got a call after her 20 week ultrasound. The call they make only if there's something to report. 

Right as we pulled up to our paradise Palm Springs abode, my doctor told me I have marginal cord insertion. She was chipper. Assuring me it was common, not to worry and to carry on as normal. Everything was great! My little girl is a week ahead in her size and development. She's healthy and everything else is perfect. She just got creative with her cord placement. She thought why not color outside the lines? 

I was frozen in the mini van as everyone swirled around me. I felt blindsided. I'd gone from finally having this complete bliss, happiness, calm to being right back in first trimester mindset. Kicked in the stomach, so much in love, I couldn't imagine what would happen if something went wrong. 

This news did immediately change everything for me. Running? Who gives a tiny rat's arse? I'm still at it, but I don't struggle with "understanding its place in my life right now". It's slow and steady and not about me. And eating? No more laughing it off when I eat junk for a half a day. I'm pounding veggies and fruits and all the good calories I can get. 

My doctor isn't just feeding me bullshit either (except for the "common" part, it's not that common). I'm lucky enough to have two friends who are doctors and both reassured me it's all good. Marginal cord basically means I'll have regular ultrasounds to monitor her growth. It also means at the May ultrasound the cord could have moved closer in as the plancenta grew, or further away from the middle (not ideal, but we'll take it as it comes).

Of course, Marginal Cord also means me thinking about it way too much. And having sudden crushing guilt about weird shit like shampoo. And really trying to get to the place everyone else seems to be, where we aren't worried about this. 

(this probably goes without saying, but if you have a sad story regarding this, please tell it to someone else)

Friday, April 4, 2014

Sunday Runday for Every Mother Counts

This Sunday Oiselle is teaming up with Charity Miles to run miles (and raise money) for EMC. Our goal: 1,000 miles! Which should be easy to reach. That's just 143 people running 7 miles. And with all those long runs going down, I think we can hit 2,000.

It's easy to jump in,

  1. Download Charity Miles
  2. Log in
  3. Choose EMC and start running

I have to admit last November when EMC campaigned for people to use Charity Miles to donate $0.25 per mile every time they ran, I didn't jump in. Well A. I wasn't running that much and B. I really didn't get Charity Miles and C. It was holiday season and I essentially run, soooo yeah headspace was limited.

Turns out all excuses, A, B and C, were lame. It's so simple I'm embarrassed. It took our trip to NYC and hearing Christy Turlington Burns explaining the app to me, to get it. But since you might not have that luxury let me break it down.

Gene Gurkoff, launched the app in 2012. To my understanding out of his own pocket. Now he has sponsors, and is looking for more. But essentially there the money sits (his, theirs, whatever), waiting for you to walk/run/bike it over to your charity of choice.

The App is free, you just download it. Then (and here's the only glitch in the whole shebang) you have to run with your phone. But maybe it's just once a week if you're an unplugged runner… or just this Sunday 4/6 to help Oiselle reach its 1,000 mile goal for EMC. Or maybe you're a music junky like me right now and could run with it every run.

Or as CTB suggested, just turn it on in the AM and go about your day. When you walk with your phone, you're earning money towards a charity of your choice.

The Charity Miles option is open all the time, but this Sunday we're making the big push for EMC. Join in!! How many miles will you go?